i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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