You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
