Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
