Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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