is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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