I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
