when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
