I didn't shave. On purpose
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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