3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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