you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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