That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
