I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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