Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
this must be what syphilis tastes like
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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