At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
