Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
