My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
