with your own penis?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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