just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
