but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
