I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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