we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
