The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
