I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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