Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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