YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
