I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
