It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize