I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
