He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
