franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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