everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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