wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
