What did we do last night that was yellow?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
