I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
