I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
