Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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