If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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