Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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