Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
