I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
