Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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