it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
