I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
