how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize