I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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