Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
