So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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