i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
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