Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
