as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
