And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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