So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
