His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
