Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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