Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
