you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
