This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
