I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
