The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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